Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Confessions of a Skinny Glutton, Part One

I've been thinking lately about food. For some reason, every time the weather turns cooler, I get strong urges to bake things. Pies, cookies, breads -- anything with cinnamon in it.

So, this last weekend, I baked some pies. I'd never really baked pies much before, and I struggled like crazy with some of the pastry, but the apple pies smelled so good and made me feel so cozy. (It helped that it was a cool, rainy fall day. I also did some knitting that day.)

But then... I ate some pie. And it was so delicious! I took two pies to my mom's place, and you should have seen the shocked look on her face. It was great.

However, that afternoon, after eating chips and hamburgers for lunch, with two small pieces of pie for dessert, I felt like I was going to throw up. My whole body was in rebellion from all that sugar and fat and salt. And I thought to myself, "This is how I used to eat all the time. And I used to feel like this, too. But I thought it was normal."

Now, I know better.

The funny thing is, I used to be a skinny glutton (and I still am, deep down inside). I thought that since I was the right size, I could eat whatever I wanted. So, I ate things that were delicious, and I usually ate far past the moment I was full, just because I wanted more of the lovely taste in my mouth.

Then, I got pregnant. The rules of weight gain change when you are pregnant.

Then, I got pregnant again. And again. With twins.

Yes, I had four kids in short succession. And then, after the twins were born, I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize myself anymore. I had put on more and more weight with each pregnancy, and it wasn't just falling off anymore with the breastfeeding. And, silly me, I had no idea how to lose that weight.

So what did I do? Actually, I joined my local Weight Watchers. I realized that I was eating all the wrong foods, at all the wrong times and in all the wrong ways. I ate hardly any fresh vegetables (I had two toddlers and two babies, remember?), I forgot to eat, and then I binge-ate whatever I could find because I was about to pass out. Oh yeah, and I drank a lot of coffee.

I still do drink a lot of coffee, but my other eating habits have changed drastically. But more than that, my attitude towards food has changed. For me, that has been the key to weight loss as well as better health. I no longer think the way the skinny high-school me used to think (thank goodness), and I don't take my health -- or my figure -- for granted any more.

Stay tuned for the next post to find out what changed in my head as well as in my recipes.