Sugar-free, Delicious Christmas Baking -- Pure Fantasy?

Christmas baking is so hard now that I don't eat sugar! I'm still early on in my experimenting process, but so far the shortbread cookies made with whole wheat pastry flour and honey have NOT been exactly the same as their white-flour-and-white-sugar counterpart. Well, to be more specific, my taste buds were quite happy with their still-buttery goodness, but my mom was less than impressed by their new, healthier personality. Oh, and the lack of icing sugar made them spread out really, really thin, too. They were almost completely unrecognizable as good old Scottish shortbread.

Sigh.

But, I will press on! If there's one thing I've learned over the past week, even, it's that sugar and I do NOT mix well at all any more. If I want to have a "happy holiday," as they say, I'd do well to keep it out of my holiday baking.

Anyone who leaves any tips or recipes will be loved forever and ever...

Confessions of a Skinny Glutton, Part One

I've been thinking lately about food. For some reason, every time the weather turns cooler, I get strong urges to bake things. Pies, cookies, breads -- anything with cinnamon in it.

So, this last weekend, I baked some pies. I'd never really baked pies much before, and I struggled like crazy with some of the pastry, but the apple pies smelled so good and made me feel so cozy. (It helped that it was a cool, rainy fall day. I also did some knitting that day.)

But then... I ate some pie. And it was so delicious! I took two pies to my mom's place, and you should have seen the shocked look on her face. It was great.

However, that afternoon, after eating chips and hamburgers for lunch, with two small pieces of pie for dessert, I felt like I was going to throw up. My whole body was in rebellion from all that sugar and fat and salt. And I thought to myself, "This is how I used to eat all the time. And I used to feel like this, too. But I thought it was normal."

Now, I know better.

The funny thing is, I used to be a skinny glutton (and I still am, deep down inside). I thought that since I was the right size, I could eat whatever I wanted. So, I ate things that were delicious, and I usually ate far past the moment I was full, just because I wanted more of the lovely taste in my mouth.

Then, I got pregnant. The rules of weight gain change when you are pregnant.

Then, I got pregnant again. And again. With twins.

Yes, I had four kids in short succession. And then, after the twins were born, I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize myself anymore. I had put on more and more weight with each pregnancy, and it wasn't just falling off anymore with the breastfeeding. And, silly me, I had no idea how to lose that weight.

So what did I do? Actually, I joined my local Weight Watchers. I realized that I was eating all the wrong foods, at all the wrong times and in all the wrong ways. I ate hardly any fresh vegetables (I had two toddlers and two babies, remember?), I forgot to eat, and then I binge-ate whatever I could find because I was about to pass out. Oh yeah, and I drank a lot of coffee.

I still do drink a lot of coffee, but my other eating habits have changed drastically. But more than that, my attitude towards food has changed. For me, that has been the key to weight loss as well as better health. I no longer think the way the skinny high-school me used to think (thank goodness), and I don't take my health -- or my figure -- for granted any more.

Stay tuned for the next post to find out what changed in my head as well as in my recipes.

Carbon Footprints and Skateboard Handbags

Well, I seem to be suffering from writer's block. But I'll plug on ahead, anyway. Forgive me if the topics are muddled.

I've been wondering lately about global warming. Is it really, legitimately a bad thing? Isn't carbon dioxide really good for plant growth? I'm skeptical, and I find it so hard to sort through all the information out there. Plus, wikipedia basically says that "most credible scientists" are on-board. Translation: If you don't believe in global warming, you're an idiot. Well, scientists have been wrong before... and they seem to suffer from mass pressure to back the "in" research.

And I believe in reading the research and deciding for myself.

But the research fades and hides behind layers of websites toting carbon offsetting and the like, as if everyone who's anyone already knows what's going on and, of course, agrees. But how am I to agree when I can't find the basic data? More mining to do, I guess. If there are any great researchers out there who don't have four kids and a house to take care of, let me know. :)

Aside from my personal global-warming crisis, I found the most wonderful website today! I was reading my latest copy of Alive magazine and came across a picture of a clutch purse made out of an old skateboard. Intrigued, I walked my cup of coffee over to the computer and typed in the web address.

Jackpot!

As you'll see to the right side of my page, I even added a link to -- music, please! -- the wonderful fantasy land filled with beautiful and weird bags (have I mentioned I love bags?) made out of candy wrappers, cd's, chopsticks, and even juice boxes. Brilliant, creative, and recycled!

All in all, it was a good day.

Sugar Crisis: The Update

Okay, I have a confession to make: I suck at quitting sugar.

I thought it would be so easy, since I didn't really eat that much of it to begin with. But once I started thinking about it, I started craving it. Suddenly, I was craving donuts -- which I normally don't like -- and dreaming of ice cream. What was going on???

I still have no answer. And, I still haven't kicked the habit.

Now my internal debate centres around whether it's really a big deal, after all. What if I was just being a fanatic, and it's really not the end of the world if I eat a brownie now and then? (Especially if it's a really, really GOOD brownie...) Then I wonder if it's my addiction that's talking and telling me it's okay to have just one. Ack!

You see how this could get out of hand.

The solution I've worked out, for now, is that I'll just do what I did when I was losing weight: I'll keep eating healthy, with lots of veggies and water and fiber (and coffee -- so sue me), and when I do indulge in a treat, I'll make it small. I won't completely deny myself, but I won't go crazy, either. A nice, happy medium. Hey, it worked for losing forty pounds, so I figure it could keep me from sugar-induced illnesses, as well. Maybe.

Anyway, that's the update. I hope you're not too disappointed in me.

Lessons From A Cottage

As a woman who lives in a small, rural town, who drives regularly past corn fields and cows, I had assumed that I lived close to nature. I take my kids outside to play when I can, and I occasionally pull weeds out of my overgrown flower beds.

But this last week, I was away at a cottage, and I realized how much I'd missed the countryside.

There is something so peaceful about a lake and a wide, spread-out vista of natural beauty. I was without my beloved internet connection; I left my responsibilities and telephone calls behind. I read books. I watched my kids catch frogs. I sat on a beautiful porch and watched the rain fall all around me and make tiny patterns in the lake's surface.

I breathed more deeply than I have in a long time. A deep sense of peace filled my heart.

What's the point of sharing this story? I'm not sure, exactly. I guess I've been thinking about the reason for this blog: I want to encourage each of us, including myself, to think differently. To make our lives better. To start with small things that we can change ourselves, to take responsibility for the state of our world, of our lives. To struggle and wonder towards self improvement. To instill curiosity, even indignation. To provoke change.

I realize that's a tall order to fill.

But there's also this: small things, like spending a couple days reading beside a lake, can make a big difference. They can change our hearts.

So go jump in a lake.

Quitting Cocaine Must Be Easier Than Quitting Sugar

Here are my tips for going off sugar:

Don't do it two days before your best friend moves across the country.
Don't buy Ben & Jerry's the week before, even if it IS on sale.
Don't forget that the sugar withdrawal could be the real reason behind your sudden loss of the will to live... or at least of your desire to get up in the morning.

Yeah, that's pretty much it right now. Oh, except for one thing: Expect your coffee addiction to get worse for a while.

I'll let you know how I feel when the fog lifts from my brain.

Goodbye, Sweet Sugar

After I wandered around in a tired, confused, hungry daze late this afternoon, my husband looked at me and said, "You had too much sugar today, didn't you? You're acting like you're having a sugar crash."

I guiltily admitted that I'd had a delicious caramel macchiato this afternoon. But really, who knew that all that syrup and caramel would be such a big deal?

So, as I drove to the grocery store after supper to restock our pathetic cupboards, I decided not to buy anything with sugar in it. After reading Sugar Blues last week and really learning how destructive sugar is to our bodies, I'd thought then that we should probably eliminate it from our diets as a family. Then, after my erratic and depressed behaviour this week induced by ice cream, oatmeal (those little sugary breakfast packets), and now caramel, I figured it was time to stop for real.

It's hard, though. I mean, obviously sugar is delicious. If it weren't, we wouldn't all be so addicted to it.

Anyway, I started reading labels at the grocery store tonight on things that I'd always just trustingly added to my cart: Cheerios, Special K, bread, tortillas, Miracle Whip, vinegar. They've all got sugar in them!

I had a bit of an inner struggle as I walked past the granola bars, but I decided I'd make my own from the fabulous recipe in The Sneaky Chef, so that gave me the strength to move on.

The most difficult part of going sugar free, I think, is finding healthy foods to snack on that my slightly particular four-year-old will eat. But since he's a die-hard cracker fan, I read the labels on a couple boxes and settled on the President's Choice Blue Menu crackers, of all things. I also picked up some organic puffed corn and kamut for the babies.

I did cheat a little bit on my favourite cereal (which does contain sugar, darn it!), but I figured that since it's so high in fibre, I might be okay. Besides, I've never had a sugar crash after eating it, and it's just so tasty! I used the same theory with the bread: more fibre = less damage from the sugar. I'm not entirely sure if that's true, but at least the fibre regulates the absorption of sugar during digestion (I read that in Alive magazine), so maybe we'll be okay.

I skipped buying apple juice, too. The boys will just have to drink milk or water. Here's hoping they don't beg for it all week!

I really really really hope that we won't go through major sugar withdrawal symptoms -- cravings, headaches, irritability, exhaustion -- but I guess if we do, we'll survive. We're cutting back, but we weren't consuming that much to begin with. Except, of course, for the Ben & Jerry's I got on sale last week. And all the parties I've been to lately that had delicious desserts. But aside from those... Oh, never mind.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Oh yeah, and if this post was a little disconnected, I'm blaming that on the sugar, too.